Archive for July, 2008

Thank You, Come Again!

I admit it. Try as I might to be healthy and save money, I am a total sucker for fast food. I rarely have the time or the skills to cook anything more complicated than Spaghettios or Ramen Noodles, and even those don’t turn out too pretty at times. I would rather pay more money for something fast, and save myself the time and frustration of making a big meal that is only for me. Call me lazy.

So imagine my surprise when I pulled up to the pay window at one of my favorite Mexican fast food restaurants, and instead of them telling me the price I hear this, “Today is customer appreciation day, so every twentieth customer gets free food! We’ll have that out to you in a second, free of cost”. Wow! In all my life I have never had that happen, unless there was a mistake on the order and I wound up with someone elses’ food. But absolutely free, no strings attached? That just upped my loyalty to that food place!

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The Class I Am So Glad I Took

My most memorable college class was actually my very first one. Its title in the course catalog was “Intensive Writing,” but on our first day, included both on the syllabus and her lecture, the instructor made sure our class understood that she approached it as “intensive writhing.” If you are the type who is not into introspection, critical thinking, challenge or self-awareness, then her description would be correct. I’m sure I struggled, but looking back I only remember that I adored the class.

We read and wrote a great deal, but we had field trips too. I recall one outing that was designed solely to help us bond as class members. I did not mind the trust walk or anything else, but the “fall backwards and let your teammates catch you” activity taught me that I don’t trust anyone, but I will give into social pressure rather than make a scene. My fellow students did catch me, but I remember standing from that height, my back to them, fully expecting them not to break my fall. I only went through with it so I would not disappoint this teacher I revered so much. And yet, even with this little glitch, I loved the course. This one class firmly etched in my mind that, if you follow the words from Delphi, to “know thyself,” you must read and write and write and write and live and write again.

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Biggest Little Fish

One of my new found hobbies after work is going fishing. I never knew just how much I would enjoy the dirty job that is baiting a line, sitting in the dirt, and waiting to reel in a big ugly fish just so I can pull the hook out.

So I left work, grabbed my fishing gear, and my friend Dale and I headed to the lake. We lucked out and found a spot that had a lot of fish jumping. “Piece of cake,” we think! So we throw our lines out a few times, and get absolutely nothing. Nope. Not a single bite. You know it’s bad when the fish are actually jumping over your line instead of being on the end of it.

“Well, I’m going to give it one more try, and then I say we go to a different spot,” Dale says. I couldn’t let him cast out and get one, so I threw my line out once more too. I got a bite! I start reeling in, and reality comes with it. I didn’t have a bite, I had a rock. I was stuck, hook, line, and sinker (pun intended). So I start jerking the pole trying to wiggle the hook free. After five minutes, I’d had about all I could take, and I told him we should just cut the line. But as a guy always does, they can’t admit defeat until they try to fix it themselves. So he gives it a go.

Me: “Don’t break my rod!”

Him: “That would be a bad rod if it broke before the line did!” SNAP! As my rod breaks right in the middle. We both stare at each other with open mouths. I’m trying to decide whether to laugh or cry.

Then, he just has to say the most perfectly wrong, guy-type of thing to say.

“Well, the good news is I got the snag out”. Oh that is completely um, wonderful.

Me: “Let’s see, my forty dollar fishing pole is broken, but the good news is I saved twenty cents by getting that hook back”. Yea right, and I just saved money switching my car insurance (Ok, I admit it. I didn’t switch my car insurance. That is just what went through my head). So I’m standing there, looking the opposite way from my poor splintered pole, when he says,

“You aren’t going to believe this…You have a fish!”

Drum roll please…I would like to introduce the new world-record holder fish. Yup folks, there he is in all his glory. My smaller-than-my-hand Green Sunfish. I believe I just caught the world’s smallest fish! This pretty little fella took my line, managed to get under a rock, get stuck and be violently jerked on, and he still lived to tell the tale. Now I can rightfully brag to everyone my sweet fishing skills, or lack thereof!

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Words Are Slippery Things

Next time you have an embarrassing verbal moment, think of these and remember that words are slippery things, and we all have some fumbles. A boss of mine during my college years made this lament whenever she tried to communicate with the younger generation, “Communication is an art; and I don’t have a paintbrush!” Language is ever-changing, and keeping up can be a challenge.

A friend who was into drama told of a girl’s audition for a singing part. She chose to sing “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off,” by Irving Berlin. To get the full effect, bear with me while I spell phonetically. As this would-be artist sang the song, instead of pronouncing the words ‘potato’ and ‘po-tah-to,’ ‘tomato,’ ‘tom-ah-to,’ she sang them so they all sounded the same. “You say potato, I say potato. You say tomato, I say tomato” just misses something, don’t you think? You can tell she had never listened to this song. I wonder how likely it was that she got the part. . . .

This next incident is a personal favorite. I overheard this conversation while working in a college cafeteria during my university days. Let me set the scene: the participants of this verbal exchange were two college-aged girls and a young man. The boy and one of the girls obviously liked each other and wanted to impress one another. In the course of their conversation, the liked girl remarked, “I’ve always said, ‘The eyes are the window to the soul.’”
“Wow, that’s deep,” the awed boy responded.
The third girl ventured, “Umm, I think the president, or someone important said that. . . .”
The liked girl snapped, “Well, he got it from me, then, because I have always said it!”
I nearly bit through my lower lip, I was working so hard to fight back a laugh.
End of conversation.
Post Script: My friends and I looked up the source of this quote. It has been traced back at least as far as Joan of Arc.

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Seeing The Ability In Disability

We all have strengths and weaknesses. Each of us knows people who have amazing talents we wish we could master. It is easy to compare our weakness with their strengths, and find ourselves wanting. For some reason, the more visible the difference from the perceived “norm,” the more likely it is to be labeled a “disability.”

I’ve never understood this insistence on pigeon-holing others–or ourselves. I know we need to make sense of our world, but why do we insist on smacking labels on everyone and everything? Does it start in grade school as sides are chosen, or much much earlier? Whatever it spawns from, it seems wrong to me to put others down for being different. Why can’t focus on the strengths we each possess rather than pointing to the differences? I can not say it better than the Greek philosopher, Plato: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

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The Opinionated Optometrist

Have you ever gone to a service just for the price? You think, “Oh, they must be the best because they’re the most expensive?” That was what I was thinking when I chose a certain store. I won’t name names, because this is purely my opinion and I don’t want to change any one’s mind, so we will just call this the Eye Place.

My first experience went well, until the expensive glasses were delivered with the lenses popping out! Then came the other problem - They didn’t have the contacts I need in stock. So naturally, I went somewhere that did. Wal-Mart (I swear that place has everything!). Wal-Mart’s Optical Center called them to get my prescription, and after being ignored and put on hold for twenty minutes, the Eye Place wouldn’t prescribe me the same brand I’ve worn for two years!

So I went there in person and waited an hour to talk with the Optometrist for a whopping whole two minutes. I was completely flabbergasted by how he was acting! He argued me on every point, and then finally this exploded out of his mouth, “You know, the frustrating part about telling someone what is best for them is when they go behind your back with another service!” I wanted so badly to laugh and say, “Buddy, some day you’ll realize you aren’t the only service out there!” But since his face was turning every shade of red, his hands were balled up in fists, and he didn’t look to be breathing, I decided to just thank him and leave.

Ever since then, I’ve talked to a lot of people that weren’t happy with the Eye Place. I wish I would have known that before I had invested all of this money and frustration! Lesson Learned? Bigger price tag doesn’t always mean better service!

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So I Would Not Make A Good Barista

This pre-dates my college years a bit, but it was my first experience in the working world - besides babysitting and lawn care. I tended the young child of a lady who worked as a secretary in a law firm. Being a first time Mom, she would often call to see how things were going while she was away. As a result, she knew my phone demeanor. Normally that would not make any difference, all that matters to be a good babysitter is how you are with children, but this time it lead me to a new experience.

A family emergency came up and she was unable to find a replacement at work. The result was that she asked me to fill in for her. I was only 13, but I am not sure anyone realized that. The lawyers agreed, and the day before she had to fly home I was trained on a few receptionist duties. One of these tasks included making coffee. Sounds simple, right? I do not come from a coffee-drinking home, so it was new to me. I tried to pay careful attention to her instructions.

I came to work every day. I made the coffee - just like I thought she had shown me - answered the phones, and thought I was doing a pretty good job. On my second-to-last morning I overheard one of the lawyers, “This stuff is awful! I’ll sure be glad when our regular gets back! Until then, maybe I should start making the coffee myself…”

I Admit It, I Am A Procrastinator

How many of us have had a critical moment when we simply had to purchase an item and experienced a wave of utter thankfulness for those stores that are open 24 hours? This post is dedicated to all those people who staff such retail locations. I remember one time in particular when they saved my sanity as well as my grade.

I was nearing the end of my long journey to get a college degree. This particular art class had been a real joy. It was of personal interest to me to learn about famous artists, architects and sculptors. The information I gathered from this class and all I had learned made it a real pleasure, Until I tried to finish a gigantically huge project in just one night
 I always felt like I had no choice but to procrastinate such projects-I was so busy holding down a part-time job, taking classes, writing papers, reading the assigned materials and studying for tests-when could I fit in those big projects? But we all know what that feels like.

This was an assignment where we had to have 10 or 12 themed art posters complete with typed information, good graphics, pictorial illustrations of each art concept, and they darn well better look good! You know how it goes-you’ve had those projects yourself. I had gathered all the materials, but still had to assemble each and every one of those posters. It was between 2 and 3 a.m. and I ran out of glue! Thankfully, at that point in my college career, I had my own transportation. I hurried down to the store, cursing the time it was costing me. In hindsight, though, I should have been counting my blessings that I knew just where to go to get the small item I needed that made all the difference to my final grade.

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Behind the Scenes of Photography

Taking a photography class in high school was the best decision I ever made, back then. Art is a creative outlet where you can express yourself however you choose. Photography has always been my passion, but I also tried ceramics and painting in high school. I took beginners’ drawing, design, interior design, art for education, typography, photo lighting, photo illustration, many art history classes and color theory in college. I became very fond of art in general, to say the least.

I’d say most people think that to be a photographer, all you need to do is click a button. But I would disagree with that belief. I must admit, I started out with the same thought process though. Then through classes, I discovered a new world in art. There are elements and principles of design that you need to incorporate into your artwork. Most everyone knows you need a focal point in your picture. Some other principles are creating leading lines, the ‘rule of thirds’, whether your artwork is symmetrical or asymmetrical, your overall composition, whether it’s realistic or abstract, shape, space, rhythm, perspective, contrast, patterns, balance, harmony, and negative space. Seems like a long list now, doesn’t it? So maybe it’s safe to say the people who earned a photography degree or equivalent really do have the knowledge and experience that it takes to be a professional.

I first started learning about photography when film was still very popular among the masses. I enjoyed film photography so much that I wanted to hold onto it even when the world was going digital. But eventually, I caved in too and bought myself a nice SLR digital camera. To start learning the elements of design (within photography), most teachers have their students focus on black and white photos first. The reason for this is because black and white is a harder concept to grasp. Since everything is either black or white or shades in between, you have to sort of envision the tones where the reds, greens, blues, and yellows are. Contrast usually is easier though in black and white photos. Then once you’ve mastered taking beautiful pictures in black and white, you may move on to color.

As you can tell, my passion for photography grew as I learned more about art and design. I decided that I would major in Photography - I don’t have my BFA quite yet but I am close to completion. Then the question is, what do you do with a photography degree? You can start your own business (which is what most people I know have done), work for an already established photography business, try to gain contacts within the fashion industry as a photographer, create your own website to showcase your artwork (another popular one), or simply let your talent go to waste and just snap pictures here and there for a family album. I’ll let you decide. As for me, I hope that someday I can look back on my life and take pride in knowing I used my earned talent in photography.

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Thumbtacks, Sloughing, and other Misnomers

Being a woman means different things to each woman, but there are some things we can all relate to, and probably wish we did not understand so well.

Kvetching about “that time of the month” was something that happened occasionally between my female roommates and me. This is my all-time favorite from our griping sessions. (Note: names have been changed to protect, umm, mostly me, since I did not ask if I could share these stories.)
Connie tells of a lecture she attended where a male teacher was detailing the biological facts of a female menstrual cycle. Matter of factly, he commented that the “uterus lining sloughs itself off and…” He did not get to finish this sentence, because, Connie, at the word “sloughs” immediately yelled out, “Sloughs itself off??? SLOUGHS itself off? Try RIPS itself from inside and TEARS its way down!” Hopefully the professor learned his lesson and was not so casual in his approach the next time he lectured on the subject.

Another college roommate, Lydia, was buying tampons at the store. As luck would have it, for some reason the scanner would not register the price. The clerk called out over the loudspeakers with a harsh nasal intonation, “I need a price check on Tampax.” The reply, from a man who had no experience with this product, and was trying to make sense of the brand name, clearly showed that he thought the clerk asked about ‘thumbtacks’, “Is that the kind you put in with your thumb or with a hammer?” My ultra-shy friend had one of those I-wish-I-could-bury-myself-in-a-hole-right-now moments. It was a long time before she could laugh about this transaction. Ah, the joys of certain elements of womanhood! Good thing it is not like that all the time, eh?

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